if only ü

aww.

i wish i've got the guts to tell you how i really feel..

if only words are enough..

if only time would permit..

i'll do everything to do what i never did..

express ü

oftentimes people don't fully express themselves

we prefer actions rather than words

we prefer giving codes and breaking some ourselves

we show what we feel but we never tell

have you ever wondered

what if sometime, others misunderstood what you have shown?

what if others wanted words and not actions?

actions may seem better than words but actions aren't always specific

at times we must tell what we feel

we must speak,, people can't read our minds

e   x   p   r   e   s   s    ü

just one day :p

september 18, 2009--friday

'i believe it was destiny' :)

7:30am,, i am on my way to nowhere

my exam starts at 1:00pm, i' supposed to be at home, sleeping or maybe even reviewing, but here i am, wandering at the streets of angeles city.

well since i have no destination, i decided to go to HRPC, there i planned to hear the mass and ask the Lord for guidance and knowledge.

as i enter the Parish absent-mindedly, i saw someone who put me to the state of shock for a matter of time

don't laugh, but honestly, at that i time i think i forgot how to breathe.

he was there

but still i pushed through my plan, i heard the mass and asked for His forgiveness and blessings--well the Lord is really good, He answered my prayers immediately.

after the mass, i went out to buy some pandesal for breakfast, then one of my friends called me, i never expected to see him but again, for the second time around

he was there

and today is his birthday, what a coincidence, destiny must really be playing with me, great timing ü

well since i have no company, they asked me to come with them, and i believed that given that i was already there, i decided to come.

and so from then it's history.

i won't write everything in detail, for every word, every gesture, every moment. everything is documented in my heart :)

it was then that i realized that the magic of love really exist. somehow because of that event i realized that even people like me who experienced the pain of love can once again feel the happiness found in it.

even for just one day :p

ok :p

'what if you believed something was true but you were dead wrong?'

that was a line from my favorite novel [well as of this moment]

stephanie meyer's new moon

well,, what if?

[nothing just asking ü]

blabber (-_-)

urgh,, whatever...

sometimes we are so overwhelmed by what's happening around us and we don't notice simple things blocking our way

we don't notice the little cracks,, the little bumps,, in the end we fall

right?

so many hindrances,, so many trials,, too much tests

today we're happy then tomorrow we're not,, we laugh then we cry

ironic? complicated?

well whichever comes first--all i want to say is

'in life we must look around,, we must always be alert,, for we'll never know where or when those cracks will show'

pare ko :)

'friendship was just a word until you came and gave it a meaning'

it was in the year 1998 when i first met this girl

she was chubby and you can see the innocence in her eyes

i can't really remember how we introduced ourselves to each other

i just remember that since we met--we became good friends

time passed

it has been 11 years since then

in those years we faced different challenges in our lives

we fight then we talk and we laugh

'we laughed so hard with no reason'

'we cried for stupid things'

we've been together for so long

we don't need words to explain what we feel

'we understand each other'

that's just about everything.

suko na ako,, tagalog na lang...ü

so ayun, nung prep ako, may batang babae dun sa sulok ng classroom. di ko na matandaan kung pano kami nag-usap and nag-kakilala--matagal na panahon na yun, bata pa ako,, haha. basta ang alam ko mula ng maging friends kame tuloy-tuloy na. 1+6+1=7years ko xang classmate! pambihira. sabay na kaming lumaki ng bruha. sa loob ng 7years na yun kasakasama ko xa. eto pa, nung di ko na xa classmate nirecruit nea ako sa choir, so kasama ko padin xa. strong no?. well nag aaway din naman kami, mag-aaway tapos tatawa, ayus na. alam na kxe namin ung mga trip ng bawat isa. ikaw ba nman ganun mo katagal kasama yung tao di mo mamemerorize galaw nea. alam ko pag masaya xa, alam nea pag nakatrip ako, mga ganun ba. nadyan xa pag may promlema ako, ganun din ako sa kanya. xa kausap ko pag-busy lahat ng tao. xa kasama ko pag wala mga ibang kaibigan ko. di nea ako iniiwan. pinakikinggan nea mga kwento ko kahit ulit-ulit na. di xa nakukulitan sa akin. di xa naaasar. lagi xang nandean. at nakakatouch yon. naksama ko na xa sa maraming bagay, sa mga competition, sa camping, etc.etc. sabay kaming natuto, nagmature [hmm nauna siguro xa ng konti], sabay kaming tumatawa ng walang dahilan, nag-aasaran, nag-iiyakan, nag-dradramahan paminsanminsan. basta marami na kaming pinagdaanan. mga kalokohan, pagaaway, pagkanta, pagsayaw, pagsusulat, blahblahblah, alam na nea yun :)

alam ko na alam na nea kung sino xa, di ko na kailangang sabihin. nasulat ko lang to sa blog kxe xang nagturo sakin na gumamit nito, nakakainspire lang. ayun. gusto ko lang ishare sa inyo yung konting part ng buhay ko na kasama ang PARE ko.

par thank you sa lahat, kahit ganito ako dahil ganito kadin, lab daka to highest level--haha :p

nomad :)

august 06, 2009

it's 10:30 in the evening

i'm supposed to be sleeping but here i am--typing

well i really don't know what i am going to write

i'm just having a great time typing words that pop in my head

maybe because i want to escape reality for a while

to enjoy the stillness of the house,, it's quiet and peaceful ambiance

more often than not,, it is during times like this that my mind wanders

they say that

'the place where your mind goes as it wanders is where your heart truly lies'

but where does it go?--it's nowhere to be found

it feels like it's traveling through an endless road

merely traveling

with no destination in particular,, just exploring

maybe because it has no place to stay

it's afraid to stay in things that come and go

in time,, these things it might make it lively

but then not long after that liveliness--they leave

as of now

it's still wandering

it's still looking for a destination

it simply a

nomad

it simply happens ü

'this morning I was with my friends/classmates it was our break time,, we decided to stay in the school canteen,, while chatting one of us opened the topic about what they call--destiny'

oftentimes i hear complaints from different people about the things that happen in their daily lives

most of them are regrets from the past while some are merely faults because of their flaws

well i just wonder why those people always complain,, why aren't they satisfied with what's supposed to happen,, why?

because those people do not believe in destiny

'destiny--the apparently predetermined and inevitable series of events that happen to somebody or something'

inevitable series of events--translation:

unavoidable circumstances

our lives are filled with these circumstances and it's up to us on how we will look at those--positively or negatively

for me these things happen in purpose for a purpose; and that purpose is part of the will of God

every detail of our life is strenuously planned by Him even before we existed

and that plan will be our destiny

a permanent plan we can't change,, a blue print we can't erase

destiny

'now i realized,, the events in my life this morning weren't just coincidences,, they were part of my destiny

my destiny to know and to have inspiration to write,, without those events i won't have the courage to do what i'm doing now'

everything is connected.we can't complain.

it simply happens'

[i do hope you get what i'm trying to say ü]

fallen :)

i don't know why i feel like this

it's like something is changing

there' s a hidden feeling i want to release

my mind did nothing and my heart did everything

suddenly i realized; i've fallen for you

goodbye :)

i never loved anyone like this

you showed what love truly means

you are the one i din't wanna miss

cause from the day i met you

i loved you ever since

i thought it's right to tell you what i feel

cause they told me you felt the same

but befeore that, i'll wait for time to heal

all the wounds you had before i came

but as i wait, your feelings drained

i never planned it to end like this

now all that's left is a feeling so strange

and now it's time for me to say goodbye

to the person i never thought would make me cry

is it too late?

i never really thought it would end like this...

what i dreamed of is a perfect friendship that will hopefully become a wonderful fairytale...

but it ended up as nothing but a stupid nightmare..

it was a dream before,, a dream i chased,, a dream that never really existed..

now i know,, how i wish i never became so foolish to tell you things that would hurt you badly..

you told me we can still be friends,, but still,, we aren't..

is it too late?